Fuffy/Zooky

Sat, 15 Mar 2008 23:57:03 GMT

When I said you meant the world to me, I didn't know to what extent it was true until I lost you. My last words mark the last time I was able to give it away. Every since then, you were the last one and the only one to have it. That's unfair to others, and to me as I can't give what is mine to whom I choose.

Truth leads to destruction
So why bother with creation?
False loyalty to one's heart
Brings cries of hatred
Hear me roar
Because this (Lycee) lion has courage
And will tear you apart.

lmao. Lycee kids unit.

I actually wrote that in french class, how appropriate...in more ways than one.

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 20:28:04 GMT

Tamar and Robin left the suite this morning, and are currently on their way home....I don't think it's fully hit me just yet, but I'm still really sad and sitting where Robin's stuff would be right now lol. There's only 3 of us left!! And then tomorrow, Lisel and Bree leave us too. Then I'm the last one on friday. I'm sleeping in my parent's hotel room on thursday night, there's no way I'm going to be in here by myself! Or I'm dragging my matress into Bryan's room haha.

fucking-eh...
:(

Sat, 09 Jun 2007 02:33:17 GMT

Look Lisel, I posted on livejournal!! hahaha, fucking hell u guys are being so weird up there, wtf?!?!?! i cant believe u, Tamar, and Robin are currently on top of me right now.
yummy.

hey you

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 07:12:21 GMT

So heres the deal...i've officially been here for 10 years as of this month. And ive appreciated a lot of things since ive been here, and feel extremely lucky that ive had this chance to be here today. this has been a great opportunity. The one thing that stands out the most tho...is the people. Ive grown to love many of my friends here and will never forget them. For those who've known for those 10 years (or so), I want to say i will never forget you and i love you so much. maybe u dont know it but its the truth. maybe we're not as close as we used to be but i still think about a bunch of you everyday. you've been there for me. a lot. how can i forget you? no matter whats happened i always felt like i was the lucky one. and also for those who've known me for a couple of years now i love you bcuz uve stuck by me and i couldnt ask for more. theres a lot of people i appreciate. and frankly i wish ALL of u were at UCSC with me now but everyone's got their thing, and thats the way it is. which is nice bcuz we're all different and thats important.
all of you mean so much to me :)
good luck with school!

Thu, 18 May 2006 07:23:05 GMT

One week until the first test of the BAC (french exit exam)

and we're all going to pull through.

smile, its time. :)

lovely, its all there: Love.

mouais

Wed, 10 May 2006 02:00:47 GMT

:D

Bobby ur right, theres just too much to catch up on.

looks like everyone's got a special someone...

to be close to.

something i lost.

creo que visto una luz al otro lado del rio

but theres so much more now though it doesnt quite add up

just the way things are.

trying to make sense of these crazy things

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 04:57:45 GMT

march is rele stressful, getting letters of acceptance and rejection, parents freaking out, BAC blanc or finals...etc

we've got to celebrate. tomorrow.

muwhaha.

fuck ucsd, i WILL go to that skool. that rejection letter wont stop me. even if u get rejected from a certain skool there's always a way in. 1) appeal 2) one semester at smc and transfer because ppl who got accepted might not end up going and ppl drop out. 3) go to San Diego State see if i like it if not transfer after one semester which i found out isnt as dificult as i thought 4) go to another uc get a do rele well 4.0 gpa and transfer but dats the impossible option 5) fuck it go to UC Santa Cruz or San Diego State and b happy haha.

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 08:36:52 GMT

mmmm so y the flip do i have a LJ!!!????

cuz seriously i dont need this shit. mmm do i want it tho...? tiens tiens jen sais rien mais jen ais un peu marre.

o right so i can stalk bobby and sarahhhhh. yes yes. STALK!

i cant believe this piece of shit tho....

...i cant fucking sit still and i have a huge 3/4 hour test tomorrow! AH!

my dad came in my room tonight, i think he got all his germs over my comp haha. mmm sickness. so...nan fais chier.

et g froid au cul!

....interesting eh? <3 ive got a heart. but whom is it for?

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 10:01:59 GMT

Rocky Horror Picture Show was alot of fun. holy crap. everyone should go. so many people would have a blast. that shit was awesome. i'll go again and again and again, as many times as possible guh damn. id go right now if i could. such a sweet time.

Joaquim we def need to go together. i know u've been hehe.

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 08:14:38 GMT

team ryouko r my new found lovers. lots of azn love....flexible crazy azn love.

sleeeeeeep is for the weeeeeeeak. shit. does one rele need to sleep?? NAAAH!
mmmm history homework how fascinating. I DONT LIKE IT! wether i do or not it shall b done, not fun but done. *nods*

yes well the daddy-o and i seem to b computer addicts. tho i rele just use it for music and azn love. they hav a zillion videos for me. those bastards arent in california tho. i should move to canada. cuz im DYING to b in the floor...WHATTT?! floor...wall...oy no. id feel trapped if not dead. tiny lil boxy 6 feet under hehehe. scratch scratch. theres a rat on my chair, a spider under my table and a tripple dose of who knows what on my branch. someone should partially get this. quels hommes de classe. tsk tsk.

so im tripping out. yea! love it. no. crazy is not THAT fun now is it, kids?

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 07:41:29 GMT

ridiculous hw. o so very ridiculous. mmm lovely eyes. surprised i can still remember them *grumble*

day/night dreaming again. get me off this crazy thang called....love?

damn it was hot today! "its cuz we're in california" fuck yea!

o how i loved oustry's class for once in my life...*phone buzzing* shit...starts laughing cuz its sitting in my lap. o goodness was that funny. torture to the guys but funny. "Apologize to herrrr!" "fuck it i dont care" *Sits there laughing her ass off* open close open close open close muwhahaha!

Why is everybody talking about valentine's day!!?!?!?!! its more than a month away. fuck valentines day hahaha. crap, im gonna b seeing alot of pink uuugh.
o sweet day of love, bite me.

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 09:40:01 GMT

i hate wut has become a part of me, wut has broken me so many times before. i hate the reasons y i cry. i hate how this shit happens. i hate how everyone knows. i hate how weak this shit is, yet it feels as if ive taken a blow that breaks my heart. i hate how things fall together and fall apart. i hate wut has bcome my habits. i hate how i cant say things directly, and pull this kind of shit on livejournal. i hate your charms simply because they capture me. i hate how i cant break those chains uve binded me to. i hate how i can mix in so many different subjects into one paragraph. one very ugly paragraph. but most of all i hate it wen i cant walk outside right now wen i need it. to breath, see the stars, the streetlights, the very few cars driving around, the wind blowing, the tip of ur nose getting ice cold, the cold concrete, the moonlight, being able to see ur breath, driving to the beach in the middle of the night, seeing drunk ppl at venice wen the bars r closing, cold wet sand, and of course running in with most of ur clothing off. cuz who needs it then.

wait a mintue

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 07:50:47 GMT

wen did Livejournal bcome so pimp?!!?!? i dont remember this happening...not dat i go on livejournal much. ill go on once in a few months haha. except for right now i guess. im getting a lil bak into it. tis fun. :) and i get to stay tuned it with certain ppl... <3

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 06:38:18 GMT

back to skool!! hopefully every1 had a bitchin' vacation...

happy new years to all!!!! ou bonne chance au BAC si vs faites prof.

so glad 2005 is overrrrrr. sweetass. can we leave for college yet?!!?!?

meeeeh

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 06:24:42 GMT

ok so every1 rants on LJ which is y this is cut. and certain things r driving me crazy!! and i dont make ne sense haha. as always. noire sur blanc yet not.
so there isnt ne point or result in my efforts? "dont just think, do" mhm then wut? sit there look cute? nah, sumtimes no matter how hard sum1 tries and believes, nothing changes except u. the moment i believe things r getting there, it dies. explain this to me now. and talk is shit. i want to see things happen. fuck talking, it never got me newhere....haha gee wut does this sound like?? jp jp im not asking for sum "fun" fuck that shit. id give up all of this for wut i had. well until a certain age or else id b a fucking real beach bum hitting up cheap shit...mm pointless rant right there then. alright so im stuck. on my own. where i am is where i make myself belong. all i ask for is one. just one. dats sumthing i cant have. ud figure talking was the min. but no even that expectation is too high. wtf. i lost everything. all that effort into that one goal is completly gone. i didnt even reach it. thats just the way its going to b. i wouldnt care if dat was it, but its almost like constant teasing...g l'air d'un ane avec un carrote devant son nez et je l'aurais jamais sauf apres un long voyage de torture. putain.

i kno wut i want. i strive. i fall. i leave it b. it bottles up. i go crazy for nothing. so here it goes no?

i envy those who have the one *or more* no matter wut the relationship *friends, lovers, w/e* u can see the love. and they know it. im there sitting in my own bubble. my love to share with none. dat doesnt mean no1 has my love, au contraire but its not shared. in sum cases i cant help it, odds r against me but...then again for all. thats the way it is. i dont make the top.

shit this is exactly me. stuck between differences. not one thing and not the other. go to france i live in america, live in america im not american, go to scotland i speak w/ a diff accent. vagabond. not fully accepted newhere.

damn it. merde. fuck. putain fais chier. shit. swearing is so natural to me. :)

guh damn it feelings fuck me over. the only reason y this hurts is cuz i love. in diff ways *friends, interest, im not stuck on one aspect of it*, but i dont see it on the horizon. my heart was set and i wasnt doing nething stupid. now it has scrambled again everywhere. doubting my choice. i had it for awhile like i had it going, but things started dying one by one. ahhh. y do ppl go poof. sure i go poof but i aint important like these ppl r! *obviously* shiiiiiiit.

put ur bak on the wall.

changing ur mind? wicked game u play. dont underestimate me.

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 07:51:45 GMT

deception, ignorance, hurt, tears, pain, naive, nervous, heartbreaking, treason, annoyance, confusion, hate, death...u dont need to erase and rewind, cry breath but in the end say wut u need to say.

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 23:16:03 GMT

Don't worry, be happy dooooooo do do do doo doo doo doo do doo doo do.

WHINE!!!!

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 06:28:21 GMT

wow i really do hate this yet love it at the same time. its not fair, this is exactly why i've NEVER been like this, to avoid me feeling like this for sumthing in my logic isnt a big deal but my feelings dont seem to believe the same thing. i go from one extreme to another in no time and no im not PMSing, i kinda wish i was cuz that would support me w/ a reasonnable reason of y im like this. nope, i can go from smiling like a 7th grader to on the verge of tears. why and how did this happen? i cant think straight, my tongue gets tangled up, so much blood rushs to my head, i start to hyperventilate, this cannot be bloody healthy.
i was rude, annoying, not interresting, loud, and i couldnt control much.

je vais me foutre au couvent et finis les histoires. j'en aurais plus rien a faire.

i almost wish sum1 would hit me w/ a metal bat across my face, or my phone magically rings and everything is ok.

on top of all that nightmares came bak. fuckin-eh.

~La plus grosse conne du monde.

i need a chill pill...or sumthing else ;D

Fri, 07 Oct 2005 05:55:34 GMT

hubaahdaaaa ooo my god! yes he is. blaaahhh *blush* its...i dont kno haha.

sux dat im sick...tsk tsk. *gross*

but u know wut isnt?!!?!? muwhahaha......mmmmmm

ive never danced so much this week. i just get up from my chair and start dancing or just do it wen theres musik.

guh this is o so VERY new to me. i feel so unexperienced...in a way.

mixture of 2 things, the way its suppose to b here.

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 10:00:21 GMT

Somehow i love how everything just fell into where it is now. People say ive made mistakes yet they tell us thats how we grow. "We grow from our mistakes" How many times have we heard that? "Blind acceptance can be hazardous" When you find out a mistake led to pain and hurt not necessarily by the same person, you get mad, frown and point your finger then u cry. Helping them realize their mistake, their "fault"? it was my own fault even tho u might say otherwise. it hurts to hear both. wether u kno me well or little. it happens alot and u wouldnt think it would. it was a mistake i could of avoided but sumtimes u just never know, and dats the beauty of it at sum point. i dont want to be safe, fuck it. i want to see truth, good and bad. i want it all and to be able to handle it. sure i wont ask for it, cuz dats self-destruction no? no matter how "fucked up" it was, it got me here, im here now, im the one breathing, might of not done it on my own, but i take deeper breaths to make it last longer. the reason for my smile is because of wut happened. yes its hard, rele hard. i might of sliped and fell, hell i did it many many times. but i love the feeling of getting bak up w/ or w/out help wether sum1 is standing there or not, its a beautiful feeling. it takes awhile. i see sum1 standing there now...all i see is light, blinding me, but i walk on w/ my smile. its..wow..i dont kno wut it is, completly new to me. no words to describe it, crazy aint it ;) oy.
Sometimes u only let ur words slighty peak out. scared? worried? or is it like art? you draw, you write, you paint, you sculp but erase it all or destroy it because isnt ur love for it enuf? *unless its a message, etc* you created it, it was for u. ur happy dat it came out of u sumhow tho dont we need our work to make it better, to see our mistakes?
Again, mistakes. sumthing dats familiar to me now. at the end of the chain is violence,is there rele a time for it. defending urself. been taught how. didnt click. dont cry. should it be any different now? wont happen again right? no :)
ive never payed so much attention to sumthing ive already heard bout b4, wut is it? its different :) this. i read...enjoying every word.

words intimidate me :) tho i read on to see the end, the finishing touches are wut make sumthing great *and the work put into it* i can see it, and i understand, but this as a whole everything...huh? i'm...smiling like a 7th grader? shit haha.

not like b4, not like now. i proved u wrong and u dont even kno it :) i smile cuz of it all.

love love love. looooove

mmm first interresting/pointless/babble :) hehehe livejournal deleted this whole thing tho. re-wrote it. "erasing words" 2nd draft better?

o no wut have i done? :) i'm sick and bak on my wonderful "sleep" schedule. lol.

LOOOOOOOOOVE! hahaha...love.

i never update nemore, wut a crying shame? no.

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 23:46:35 GMT

I'm just dancing, smiling, barefoot on the wet sand from all the rain you poured down on me.
----

I love you as much as the endless number of stars in the clear night sky in the mountains. ----> mmmmmy my my sharona!

sweet, aren't they?

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 06:51:13 GMT

Who keeps kids at skool at 9:30pm!!! my brain is so fried, it walked out the door and exploded into nothingness. damn SATs thats the way ill die. Yana and i already figured it out. Our death consists of sitting at a desk w/ our face sticking to the SAT. lol. horrible way to die. wut the hell am i still doing up, i didnt finish my math hw!!! i did part of it tho.... :( ill try doing it in the morning.
fuck sleep is needed for me to get up in the morning now. damn.

more pictures omg!

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 06:47:15 GMT

Awww isnt he so cute??

He likes to nibble. just bout everything. which is the only reason why i dont let him run around the house freely, wires. tsk tsk.

BALL!

He's taking a dust bath, awwww. I feel like a mommy dat took a pic of her kid while taking a bubble bath ahaha.

Arrowbear

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 05:45:44 GMT

I have more but i think they all kinda look the same lol. :) lets "find" big foot now shall we?

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 09:44:12 GMT

mmmm y am i up right now!!?? i swear ill go to sleep soon...there was rele no point to this entry since im too tired to kno wut to write....noticed much ;P

muwhaha.